DUDE ALMIGHTY

Last weekend Kristen and I decided to try and ween our son Jack from his bottle. Looking back it was remarkably smooth but it didn’t seem it at the time (wo)man.

Saturday morning arrived with the sun and I decided to let mumma sleep in for a little. Normally Jack is pretty cool in the morning. He might fuss a little during his diaper change but then we’ll settle in to a groove with his morning milk, a little news and, his favorite television show, ‘I Spy’. This was not a normal morning.

In fact, I would say that Jack was freaking out during his diaper change. I tried to sooth him with ‘Shhhh buddy…Mumma’s trying to sleep’ but this had little to no effect on the squirming banshee on the table. After a bit I decided to try and make him laugh. I gave it a good go and his wail did take on a quality of laughter a couple times but still no use. Finally I had to laugh softly to myself at the absurdity of the situation, no one could possibly sleep through all this noise, I snaffled him up and whisked him off to the kitchen.

The trip through the next room did nothing to alter my little boy’s state of being. “Maybe he’s getting a new tooth or something – I hope his bottle will settle him.” Nope. The little guy swatted it away with a definitive, “No!” sniffed up some boogers and resumed crying at every exhale. “Hmm, maybe this is the day we try milk in a sippy cup.” I poured the milk from the bottle to the cup. Jack was sitting on my hip, occasionally slapping my face or attempting Mr. Potato Head with my ear or nose. I handed it right to him. He took it, put it to his mouth, tipped it back, took a couple decent pulls off it and then, just before I could breathe a sigh if relief, he threw it straight out in front of him on a slight downward angle. It flipped off the edge of the table on its way to the floor.

“Alright little boy…” I may have said aloud, “I’m going to put you down for a minute and make you some oatmeal with fruit and yogurt.” Some of his favorites. I’m not sure if this was the case on this particular morning but, sometimes I just lay him down on the floor if it seems he won’t stand so as to avoid him having a fall. He was having breakfast in his highchair and just beginning to wind down when Kristen emerged from bed.

“Dude Almighty!” she exclaimed to me or Jack – I’m not sure. These were the first words from her mouth. Dude Almighty. Who says that? I smiled and enjoyed the warm wave of love washing through me as she started water for coffee.

Dude Almighty…